Once Upon a Holiday Page 10

  “I’m not sure. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I can’t have babies,” I assure him. “But now, this can’t be possible. And I want them, but this isn’t how I planned it.”

  “Let’s go to the car,” he commands, as if trying to put me together because I just broke into a million pieces.

  * * *

  During the drive, I’m quiet, numbed, and I can’t think further. What am I supposed to do? As we park, I realize we’re outside a different building. Not his house.

  “Where are we?” I ask.

  “Give me a second,” he says and leaves the car with Beckett.

  Beck walks away with a paper in his hand, while Sterling gets back in the car.

  “Let’s talk,” he says. “What happened at the doctor’s office?”

  I fidget with my lower lip. This isn’t supposed to be happening. “My plan was foolproof. What am I supposed to do now?”

  Finally, I lift my gaze and look at him. I’ve never seen him look at me so serious. Maybe that’s not the word because the nostril flare is anger. Why is he upset?

  Because he knows, and he has rules and if this isn’t part of my plan well, it’s everything he’s always avoided.

  Pull yourself together, June. This guy is about to demand you lose the kid. Which I won’t do because I’ve been waiting for him and he’s mine—or her. Us against the world.

  Taking a deep breath and wiping my face I say, “I’m pregnant. Please know I wasn’t being deceptive. With my condition—”

  “Stop right there,” he interrupts me. “What exactly is the problem? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

  I shrug. “It makes everything difficult. Having a baby from an anonymous donor was easy. In the future, when I get the question, where is Dad, the answer is simple. Now …”

  Taking a deep breath, I look out the window wondering how I’m going to handle this pregnancy and the baby’s future.

  I should just go back to San Francisco. There’s no point in staying. The reason I did it was because I wanted to be near the fertility clinic while this happened. Far away from the office because I need to rest.

  Now … I have to leave because I’m bad at rejections and getting attached to this guy is getting too easy. But now he’s going to kick me to the curb, and it’ll break my heart to see how he’s going to reject the baby.

  Our baby.

  “Well, everything is different. I don’t want my kid to feel unloved but what can I say when they ask, where is my dad?” I ask figuratively and look at my lap realizing he’s holding my hands. “We won’t ask you for anything. I’ll have my lawyer draw a—”

  “Stop,” he orders. “Don’t say shit that’s going to piss me off, Juniper. This wasn’t in your fucking calendar and I get it. It’s upsetting. If you ever say that you’re going to serve me with legal papers to take away my parental rights we’re going to have a big problem.”

  “But I know how you feel about family.”

  He nods. “Maybe so, but I was thinking that if I love my nephew like he’s mine, I imagine my own child might be the same—even more.”

  “You barely see your nephew.”

  “That implies seeing my brother and sister-in-law. I like them both but not enough to move to Tahoe.”

  Beck arrives at the car and he taps on the window and opens the door. “They’re ready for her.”

  Sterling nods and looks at me. “Come on, the technician is ready to see you.”

  Sterling

  Pregnant, I repeat inside my head. I’m having a baby.

  This thing with June is starting to feel a lot bigger than I intended it to be. The thought of her carrying another man’s baby was destroying me.

  We could have a baby together. I could learn to be a father. Fuck, I want her so bad in my life that I offered to be the godfather of her child. Well, what do you know, I’m the father. But the way she saw me, the anger in her eyes and her words. I don’t know where I stand.

  You’re not seventeen, I remind myself.

  I can be whoever the fuck I want and I’m bulldozing my way into this situation if she won’t allow me to do it in a friendly fashion.

  “We have to make an appointment,” she says, looking at Beckett.

  “It’s set,” I announce. “I’m sure you know how things work when you are a celebrity and have money.”

  She presses her lips together and nods.

  “Let’s go and see if the doctor is right. You haven’t even told me how you came to that conclusion.”

  Not that I doubt her, but we just had sex two weeks ago. Seeing how upset she is about this, I can see that if possible she would treat me like a male praying mantis and eat my head before the day is over.

  “Why are we going through the back?” she asks.

  “Part of the illusion. Important public figure,” I explain and ask Beck, “Did they sign the NDA?”

  He nods.

  “How, he just walks in with the order from the doctor?”

  “Haven’t you heard the man for the past couple of days? We have procedures. He knows how to handle these situations.”

  She opens and closes her mouth. I can see she’s not thrilled about the special treatment, nor am I but I have to use my name to speed the process. We have to talk. I have to convince her of many things including that I can be a part of this baby’s life.

  As promised, the room is ready. Beck stays outside and closes the door behind. The technician is already in the room.

  “Good morning,” she says

  June and I greet her.

  Without missing a beat, the nurse begins to explain what to expect, “This is a transvaginal ultrasound. Take off your clothes from the waist down and use this blanket to cover you. It’s similar to a pap smear. I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

  June looks at me and then the door.

  “Sweetheart, I’ve seen everything. I’m not leaving you.”

  She rolls her eyes and does as she was told. The technician comes back a couple of minutes later and explains what she’s going to do.

  “We’re just confirming the gestational age. You paid for a 4d sonogram which we can’t do at this point but please feel free to come back in about …” She moves the wand inside June around and says, “There they are. The gestational sacs. They’re about two millimeters each.”

  “This isn’t possible,” June says. “You can’t get pregnant a week before your next period.”

  The technician looks at her and smiles. “Do you have regular periods?”

  “No, I have PCOS but I was taking hormones to get pregnant.”

  “That explains the multiple birth. Your ovulation isn’t regular, and you might’ve ovulated not only late, but released more than one egg.”

  She hands me over a grayish picture and says, “Congratulations, it’s twins.”

  My heart drops to my feet because one was already mind-blowing but two.

  “You can get dressed and leave through the back door. I hope to see you soon.”

  “Twins,” June says as she gets dressed. “They run in the family but … now, what am I supposed to do?”

  “Take a breath,” I suggest. “Smile and enjoy the news. I thought this was going to make you happy.”

  She sighs and we leave the room. By then, Clark is with us. Beck thought it’d be a good idea to have more than one security detail covering us just in case anyone recognized me. We drive to the penthouse in silence. I’m not sure how to act or what to say when she’s so quiet and frazzled.

  When we arrive home, she climbs up the stairs and Beck looks at me. “What do you need?”

  I point at the stairs. “For her to open up and let me in. Do you have any advice?”

  He shakes his head. “You’re on your own, man. Any other chick would be asking you for money and a ring. She’s different. I like her. What do you want?”

  “Them,” I answer. “Not sure how it’s going to work but I want June and my babies in my life. You said it, she’s differe
nt.”

  “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Bring in a new guy. We need a detail for her.”

  “Are you still going to Steamboat?”

  I look upstairs and shake my head. “No, most likely we’ll be staying in town.”

  And if I have anything to say about it, in this house because she’s not going anywhere. Not if I can convince her to stay with me.

  * * *

  When I go upstairs, she’s in my room pacing around and tapping her phone.

  I lean on the doorframe and observe her. Suddenly, she stops and looks at me.

  “Sorry for sounding ungrateful. It’s just that this makes it harder. I can hear my brothers demanding I marry you because when it comes to me, they behave as if we’re in the early nineteen hundreds and I should be a kept woman.”

  I can’t help but laugh. She’s too independent to follow the rules of old society.

  “What do you want?”

  She shrugs. “In regards to?”

  “Your future.”

  She smiles and touches her flat belly. “Them. They talked about the possibilities of multiples and how the hormones might release more than one egg, but I need to rethink everything.”

  “Why not enjoy it?”

  “I will, soon. The house should be ready next week but maybe I should go back to San Francisco. Being a single mother of one seems like a lot of work but two? I’m sure Mom is going to help, and Dad.”

  She smiles.

  “Yeah, I have the entire family. This should be okay. Jeannette will help too.” Then, as if a new plan just popped in her head, she looks at me and says, “You can be as involved as you want. I just beg you, don’t hurt them. If you think this is too much—”

  “Don’t hurt them or you?” I ask directly and walk toward her taking her hands. We’re not walking around each other without facing the big issues. “This is me telling you upfront that we’re in this together. Stop pushing me and telling me that you don’t need me around. Maybe you don’t, but they do. It’d be nice if you don’t take their choice of having me around away even before they’re born. Do we understand each other?”

  With wide eyes, she nods.

  “It’s just that you said it once, family isn’t for you. Being involved makes you part of the family even if it’s unconventional. We have to come up with rules.”

  “June, why do I feel like you’re putting a wall between us?”

  She looks at me and frowns. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Juniper, there’s an unspoken rule between us. We don’t bullshit each other. Be honest with me.”

  “I like you, Sterling,” she pauses, looks at me from head to toe, and says, “a lot. Like, hmm, wouldn’t it be awesome if this was real and we had more than just great sex.”

  Okay, so she’s scared and we’re two fucking frightened people who have been hurt so much they can’t see how this can work. Well, we’ll make this work. Fuck, this better be worth it.

  “Thirty days around you sounded doable because as a fantasy it works. I know when it ends, and reality starts. I was going to pick up my things and leave with my new life. But now, you’re part of my future—even if I don’t want it. We need boundaries.”

  “Boundaries,” I repeat. “So, you’re switching our dynamic.”

  She nods. “It’s best if we keep our distance.”

  “What if I tell you that I want this to become our reality?”

  June

  Sterling stands so close to me. His scent is fresh, sandalwood with a tone of citrus. The man who helps me fall asleep and not think about anything but him. He helps the anxiety go away.

  I’m tempted to put my arms around his neck. I wish I could ask him to quiet my mind from the noise going on. To be as happy as I am because we’re having a baby.

  Two babies!

  Instead, I remain still.

  “June, stay with me. Your mind is already running a million miles per hour,” he says.

  It impresses me how he knows those small details about me. I like it but I want to hate it. For some reason, he makes me just want to relax and let him take charge of us. But I can’t possibly delegate such an important matter.

  This isn’t a Christmas fantasy anymore. It’s a Christmas miracle and is so precious I need to take care of it like a crystal heart.

  “You don’t mean it,” I answer. “You said it, no bullshit allowed. I respect your parental rights. We’ll come up with an arrangement that will benefit them above everything.”

  He snorts. “I get it. You can’t take a chance on an irresponsible, unreliable, and negligent man. What if I offer to change for them … for you?”

  My heart shrinks because he doesn’t see himself the way I see him.

  “Why do you think you’re all those things?” I frown. “You have nothing but ugly words to describe yourself sometimes and other times your ego doesn’t fit in the penthouse. You’re reliable and dedicated. Look what you’ve created for yourself. The life you’ve built. Your art is everywhere, and you own a business.”

  “It’s my father’s. I just help my brother.”

  “Don’t belittle what you do,” I say, upset. “Are the properties your father’s too?”

  He shakes his head.

  I cup his cheek and ask, “Who hurt you, Sterling?”

  “No one,” he says quiet forcefully. “Give me a chance to …”

  “To what, Sterling? I don’t think we’re in a place to offer each other anything but a friendship. We barely know each other, and we just can’t do whatever we want when there’s a child involved.”

  “Two,” he corrects me and grins smugly.

  “Let’s start from the beginning,” he says with a gentle voice. “But not here. Pack your things, we’re going to Steamboat.”

  The last thing I want is to get in a car with him. Especially when the news hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m tired. No, exhausted and hungry.

  “I have to go out for a little while. You got my number if you need me. Pack, take a nap.” He takes me into his arms and whispers, “It’s going to be okay. Don’t think too hard. It’s only day one. Enjoy it. Congratulations, you’re going to be a mom.”

  He kisses the top of my head and holds me for a couple of extra minutes. What does he mean by let’s start from the beginning? And how can I stay away from him when all I want is more?

  As if I hadn’t cried enough, the hot pressure behind my eyes builds up once again. Sterling helps me settle into the bed and lies right beside me. I inch closer and close my eyes.

  “Give me an hour, I have to tie up a few loose ends before we leave.”

  * * *

  I sleep far more heavily than I intend because when I wake up the room is almost dark.

  “Hey,” Sterling says, he’s inside the walk-in closet fixing his bag. “I was about to wake you up.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Almost five,” he offers. “Winter isn’t my favorite season. It gets dark before dinnertime.”

  I try to smile and that’s when I realize he’s right. There’s a wall between us. Before today it was easy to trust him because I had nothing to lose and now, I’m not sure about many things.

  We can’t just jump into some relationship. We have to win each other’s trust. Just because he’s seen me naked, doesn’t mean we have the kind of intimacy that couples or even friends have after years of friendship.

  Sterling turns on one of the lamps. The light’s dim, but I can see his soft green eyes looking down at me. My stomach clenches for a second as I imagine he’s going to lower himself and kiss me.

  “We have to leave,” he murmurs and grins. “We’re not running away but we’re ditching the security team.”

  “Why do you have them?”

  “The fans can get crazy,” he answers. “Let’s get some of your stuff packed.”

  “Thank you, I … sorry for the way I reacted.”

  He shakes his head, looking amused
. “Sometimes, June, it’s good to know that I’m so good at shit I can make the impossible happen. My ego and I are pleased with the results. We have some kind of superpower.”

  A grin rises to my lips. “Of course, you are pleased.”

  He extends a hand to help me from the bed. I hesitate for a second because what I really want is to pull him over to me. My attraction for him hasn’t decreased. In fact, I think it has intensified.

  “Lead the way, superhero.”

  * * *

  My parents always drove us to the mountains every weekend to ski during the winter and part of spring. That’s how Alex, my brother, fell in love with snowboarding and extreme sports. It’s how I became his PR manager too.

  Mom tried to find someone who’d represent him. His agent is okay, but he needed someone to care for his image. The person they hired was good but once I went to college and learned how to do it right. I took over his career and started signing other athletes, actors, and the rest, as they say, is history.

  I just wanted someone to look after him the way Mom always wanted to. She insisted no one worked for his benefit, just for their percentage. Mom always said no one would be good enough because they always looked after number one. I did a good job even after he retired, I still make sure he’s well represented.

  After I sell my business, I’m taking him with me. No one touches Alex’s career but me.

  Mom says he’s my favorite because I can boss him around. At least, he allows it. I love Jason and Jack too but they’re a pain in the ass.

  “I like Alex,” Sterling says. We’re by the deck having dinner, enjoying each other’s company and just chatting. “He was good. I actually know his brothers too. Well, your brothers.”

  “You do?” I frown.

  He nods and points to the house next door. “Have you ever come with them to Steamboat?”

  I lean forward and it clicks. The house next door is Jackson’s. I didn’t recognize it. In my defense, it’s dark and all the driveways look a lot alike. Plus, I never drive up here. It’s either Jackson or Jason who are at the wheel and I’m always too busy answering emails or preparing a news release to pay attention to the road.